5 Tips to Loving Yourself More

If you compare yourself to other people - there are two likely outcomes.  Either it will be favourable or unfavourable. You will judge yourself as either a success or a failure based on the measurement you are using.  You will either feel you are better then or worse off than the other person.

For example a good friend of mine who lives in a multi million dollar home and is creating a glorious garden that is not only ornamental but functional as well comprising vegetables and herbs while I live in an old rambling wooden house with a couple of herbs in pots out the back.  If I compared myself with my friend on these two aspects of our life ( house and garden) I could end up feeling envious and dissatisfied and resentful. It would be a negative experience for me and likely to impact on the longevity of our relationship. However, if I take an alternative approach and choose to admire and congratulate  her on her achievement then she will will inclined to share her success and perhaps I can learn something from her. In addition, I might be inspired to make some home improvements of my own.

Wish to Be Yourself not Somebody  Else

"When we appreciate exactly who we are in our life, our stresses dissolve and we get more to be grateful for"

Dr John Demartini

Merna, my business colleague at Avenue to Change says we are putting way too much pressure on ourselves to be something or someone we are not... to meet other peoples standards, to perform, produce... What do you think? Are you trying to live someone else's dream or live a life the world dictates represents success? Are you constantly comparing yourself to your siblings, neighbours or work colleagues?

Remember you are unique - like a snowflake - There is noone else in the world just like you.  As Vartan Gregorian said " The Universe is not going to see someone like you again in the entire history of creation." You are one of a kind.  Therefore everyone in the world has a completely original way of looking at the world and a unique set of gifts/purpose.  Love Yourself for who you are right now.

Meditate on That

Meditation has no other goal other than for you to be yourself - which ironically you already are.  When we praise meditation and mindfulness the goal is to be an impartial witness to our own experience. During meditation we need to be aware that our minds are constantly judging and reacting to our inner and outer experiences. This type of activity tends to dominate our minds and make it difficult to experience inner peace. We need to acknowledge these are judgments and try to just observe them as an impartial witness, let them go and remind ourselves that meditation involves suspending the judgments and letting them go.

5 Tips to Focus on  Self Love

1. Treat Yourself  - Be your own best friend. Take yourself out to places you love to go, buy yourself flowers or a special treat.  Spoil yourself sometimes.  If you've had a particularly trying day then go for a swim or massage (or to the hair dresser/nail clinic etc). 
2. Journal Your  Thoughts and Feelings - Buy or craft a Journal that you can love and use it daily/weekly or just when you feel the need to get your thoughts and feeling out of your head.  Use some prompts like "Right now I am feeling..." or "Today I thought..."
   
3. Get in Touch with Your Spiritual Self - Not everyone is religious but I believe humans are spiritual beings.  Reflect on your own beliefs about 'the meaning/purpose of life' and what this means for you as an individual.  I feel energised yet peaceful when I get out in nature. I also believe in God and that he has a purpose for me.  
4. Live Your Dream - spend sometime determining what it is you want to achieve (in a month, year or a sector of  your life) and dedicate tie each day towards bringing that dream to reality.  Focus on what you can do/achieve and not the barriers.
   
5. Silence the Inner Critic - We all have that 'little voice" in our heads that wants to beat us down with all the negatives. Be aware of your inner critic and be prepared to challenge with a positive alternative view point.  Become the Queen of Positive Re-frame. 

If you found this useful, perhaps you might like to consider sharing it with a friend. I'd be grateful for any feedback or comments.