Grow Your Dreams - Mindset does Matter

Success is a journey that starts with the little steps we take each day towards realising our dreams.  So what we do today determines what we will do,be and have tomorrow.  Life is no accident, it is a response to our thoughts, habits and actions.   The tragedy is that for most of us life is more a matter of  "K sera sera, whatever will be will be, the future is not ours to see, k sera sera".  But this song is a lie because you can be in control of your life and the future you want to have. It starts with the birth place of dreams - the fertile fields of your mind. This is the place where dreams are sown and grown so be careful what you plant. What you sow - you reap.  

I compiled a list of habits for self coach to success of the mindsets that can determine your success or defeat in achieving your goals or dream.  I have listed them below as I believe that to achieve your dreams you require the right mindset. 

Success Mindset	Defeatist Mindset
1.   Persist – focus on your dream and stick at it until you reach it. Remember to celebrate the small steps on the journey.	A. Define success as won, luck or innate – you believe you have no control over it.  It is for the fortunate few whose circumstances enabled them to achieve their dreams.
2.   Listen to alternative points of view – this enables you to critically evaluate your own ideas and broadens your horizons.	B. Working hard doesn’t get you anywhere but only acknowledge one aspect of work, physical labour.
3.   Co-operate – collaborate and work with others	C. Opportunity – believe they have never been given the opportunity to succeed because of luck and circumstance. Don’t recognise opportunity when it knocks or make the most when they do.
4.   Be a detective – Curiosity did not kill the cat it brought him back.  Ask questions, seek evidence and analyse ideas.	D. Defeatist attitude - make poor choices or have a poor outlook. “To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.” – Henry Mencken
5.   Broaden your perspective – view a situation from multiple view points and be open to changing yours.	E. Quit – tried and did not succeed so gave up. Lack perseverance and self-motivation. “Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”– Winston Churchill
6.   Be a Puzzler – use problem solving and decision making to plan, monitor, evaluate and review your progress. Be prepared to change direction or proceed in a new way.	F. Victim Mentality - blame their past, current situation, issues, and circumstances as road blocks for not trying or persevering. Look for obstacles and barriers not conduits and passageways.
7.   Inventive – look for different and creative ways of thinking about something or doing things. Be a live long learner.	G. Take NO for an answer – are pessimism, surround themselves with negativity and Nay Sayers. Let challenges and adversity defeat them.

If you don't action and realise your dreams you are not fully living your life.  Take a chance and plant the seed, water and tend it with the right mindset and grow that BIG Dream - in time you will reap a golden harvest.

What dream are you currently tending - have you got green fingers (Success Mindset) or black thumbs(Defeatist Mindset)? Love to hear your comments.

If you found this interesting please share with your friends.  Would also appreciate if you visited our Facebook Page and gave us a Like.  Merna and I have just started our on our big dream - Avenue to Change - helping women live their dream.   

5 Tips to Loving Yourself More

If you compare yourself to other people - there are two likely outcomes.  Either it will be favourable or unfavourable. You will judge yourself as either a success or a failure based on the measurement you are using.  You will either feel you are better then or worse off than the other person.

For example a good friend of mine who lives in a multi million dollar home and is creating a glorious garden that is not only ornamental but functional as well comprising vegetables and herbs while I live in an old rambling wooden house with a couple of herbs in pots out the back.  If I compared myself with my friend on these two aspects of our life ( house and garden) I could end up feeling envious and dissatisfied and resentful. It would be a negative experience for me and likely to impact on the longevity of our relationship. However, if I take an alternative approach and choose to admire and congratulate  her on her achievement then she will will inclined to share her success and perhaps I can learn something from her. In addition, I might be inspired to make some home improvements of my own.

Wish to Be Yourself not Somebody  Else

"When we appreciate exactly who we are in our life, our stresses dissolve and we get more to be grateful for"

Dr John Demartini

Merna, my business colleague at Avenue to Change says we are putting way too much pressure on ourselves to be something or someone we are not... to meet other peoples standards, to perform, produce... What do you think? Are you trying to live someone else's dream or live a life the world dictates represents success? Are you constantly comparing yourself to your siblings, neighbours or work colleagues?

Remember you are unique - like a snowflake - There is noone else in the world just like you.  As Vartan Gregorian said " The Universe is not going to see someone like you again in the entire history of creation." You are one of a kind.  Therefore everyone in the world has a completely original way of looking at the world and a unique set of gifts/purpose.  Love Yourself for who you are right now.

Meditate on That

Meditation has no other goal other than for you to be yourself - which ironically you already are.  When we praise meditation and mindfulness the goal is to be an impartial witness to our own experience. During meditation we need to be aware that our minds are constantly judging and reacting to our inner and outer experiences. This type of activity tends to dominate our minds and make it difficult to experience inner peace. We need to acknowledge these are judgments and try to just observe them as an impartial witness, let them go and remind ourselves that meditation involves suspending the judgments and letting them go.

5 Tips to Focus on  Self Love

1. Treat Yourself  - Be your own best friend. Take yourself out to places you love to go, buy yourself flowers or a special treat.  Spoil yourself sometimes.  If you've had a particularly trying day then go for a swim or massage (or to the hair dresser/nail clinic etc). 
2. Journal Your  Thoughts and Feelings - Buy or craft a Journal that you can love and use it daily/weekly or just when you feel the need to get your thoughts and feeling out of your head.  Use some prompts like "Right now I am feeling..." or "Today I thought..."
   
3. Get in Touch with Your Spiritual Self - Not everyone is religious but I believe humans are spiritual beings.  Reflect on your own beliefs about 'the meaning/purpose of life' and what this means for you as an individual.  I feel energised yet peaceful when I get out in nature. I also believe in God and that he has a purpose for me.  
4. Live Your Dream - spend sometime determining what it is you want to achieve (in a month, year or a sector of  your life) and dedicate tie each day towards bringing that dream to reality.  Focus on what you can do/achieve and not the barriers.
   
5. Silence the Inner Critic - We all have that 'little voice" in our heads that wants to beat us down with all the negatives. Be aware of your inner critic and be prepared to challenge with a positive alternative view point.  Become the Queen of Positive Re-frame. 

If you found this useful, perhaps you might like to consider sharing it with a friend. I'd be grateful for any feedback or comments. 

Dream Again

Do you get up in the morning and click on the autopilot:  Get dressed (without really thinking about what your putting on), gobble down your breakfast - same old cereal (or not even tasting what you've eaten), rush out the door and travel to work or where ever you have to be (same old route so nothing new to see - right), drudge through your day (more of the same),  back home to scoff down some dinner and plonk down in front of the T.V  (zonk out until bedtime) and then hit the hay ready for the next day.  Press Repeat 7 times a week. 

Sound familiar.?

Have your dreams turned to dust under the wheels of  'the daily grind' of routine and repetition? Perhaps you have come to the conclusion - "Why dream anyway?"

Well a "dream' provides the seed from which goals sprout. If you don't plant any seeds then you will never harvest the crop.  A dream provides you with a picture of your destination - from this picture you can plan the steps and navigate the path you need to take to get there (the steps/goals that you will need to implement to reach that place). Without a destination  in mind you could end up anywhere or nowhere - just think about how you plan a holiday.

The question for each man to settle is not what he would do if he had means, time, influence and educational advantages; the question is what he will do with the things he has. The moment a young man ceases to dream or to bemoan his lack of opportunities and resolutely looks his conditions in the face, and resolves to change them, he lays the corner-stone of a solid and honorable success.

Hamilton Wright Mabie 

In March, I created a vision board for 2015.  One of the things I put on it was to compete a through walk with my family. For all you non hiking people, this entailed carrying everything we needed for 4 days in our backpacks - food, clothing, sleeping gear, tents etc - about 15 kg.  I created a vision board with pictures and words that resonated with this theme, displayed it above my desk for all to see and shared my dream with my husband.  From there, making the dream a reality happened really quickly - 3 months from making the board to going on the hike. We set goals with time frames for completion including purchase gear, booking our place on the Island (only limited number of people allowed on Island at any one time), and an exercise program to increase my fitness level. ( If you want to know more about that adventure flip over to my self-coach to success blog and have a read) . Looking back, I realise that the hike only came about because I dared to dream, shared that dream and took action to make it a reality.

So I encourage you to take a chance and some time to really think about where you want to be five or 10 years from now? What inspires you? What do you REALLY want out of life?

This is an activity with very little risk - you have nothing to loose (except maybe 15 -30 mins of your time) and everything to gain (perhaps a blueprint for your dreams).

Activity 

1. Find a quiet spot where you won't be disturbed or distracted - not on the couch where you watch tellie.
2. Take a pen and paper with you.
3. Close your eyes and reflect on the following questions - don't over think it or edit what comes into your mind.  Just let your dream response flow out  onto the paper.

• What area of your life is your focus/priority at the moment? (health, relationship, family, work, finances etc)
• With this area of your life - What is your dream? Imagine it in every detail - clarity  makes it more real.
• What are you doing?
• Who are you with?
• How do you feel?
• What else is happening?

Don’t be concerned with what feels possible right now; just get your thoughts out on paper. This is your
DREAM, so do not hold yourself back.

Share your dream with others and you might be surprised how they can help it become a reality. i'd love to hear about your dreams.