It’s Easter
again and weather you are a Christian and believe in the death, resurrection and
ascension of Christ or are just thankful to have a four day week-end I though
it fitting to express some
specific thoughts we can contemplate as this significant day approaches about forgiveness and renewal.
According to
Christianity the most important reason for remembering Jesus' death is that
through his sacrifice he took away the sins of the world. Because we are all
frail sinners with a sinful nature Christians believe we cannot get to heaven
without first being cleansed before a Holy God.
Jesus died in our place because of His love for us. Christians
all over the world repent and seek forgiveness with the knowledge that though His
Grace our sins will be forgiven. Jesus died so we could live a new life in Christ.
If you are
a non-believer, you might be asking yourself “what has this got to do with me?” Well, I’d like you to think about all the
times in the past 12 months you have beaten yourself up about something you
have done or haven’t done. A negative though here and there about someone you
know or someone you don’t and then you feel guilty about it. How often has that pesky parrot that sits on
your shoulder whispered something like these comments in your ear:
“You’re a
terrible mother because you forgot about your child’s special day at school”
“You don’t
deserve such a good wife because you forgot your anniversary”
“You don’t
treat your friends with enough respect and you sometimes gossip with others at
the water cooler”
Whilst
Christian’s believe that only through Christ you can be forgiven all your sins and
enter the Kingdom of Heaven I think that we are unwise to continually crucify ourselves
over our past misdeeds or errors of judgment. While we must bear responsibility for our actions or
in actions, to move
forward with our lives, we have to come to terms with our past and be prepared
to forgive ourselves.
A new life,
whether in Christ or not, requires us to forgive ourselves and let go of past grievances
and mistakes. Forgiveness is a process. It does not happen overnight and
the process will be different for everyone. But no matter how long it takes,
there's hope! Realize that you can forgive yourself and still believe you
were at fault, just as you might forgive someone else even though you think the
person was in the wrong. You can regret what you did, yet accept that you’re
human and make mistakes. Perhaps, you did your best, given your circumstances,
awareness, maturity, and experience at the time. This is a healthy, humble
attitude.
Ritual for Forgiving Yourself:
I love the use of rituals in our lives. Rituals cause
us to take pause, giving weight to things that are significant for us. They
help our brain focus and pay attention, and they help us orient ourselves
emotionally and spiritually.
Burning has long been used as a ritual of release, so today
I’m going to show you a simple burning ritual for cleansing and releasing
- Set aside 20 minutes of uninterrupted time. You will need a pen and piece of paper, matches, long tongs and a large flame-proof pot or bowl, or an outdoor fireplace. Don’t use one of your good bowls or pots! Go to a second-hand store and find a big old saucepan. You could also use a barbeque pit or a campfire, or a terracotta pot. Be sensible about your burning. Burn outside, observing fire restrictions and keeping your fire away from anything that might catch alight.
- Find a quiet place that is peaceful and relaxing. Close your eyes, breathe deeply and clear your mind.
- Now it is time to do some free writing. At the top of the page write “I forgive myself completely for …” then start writing. The idea is simply to write for 10 minutes ... Don't stop for anything. Go quickly without rushing. Never stop to look back, to cross something out, to wonder how to spell something, to wonder what word or thought to use, or to think about what you are doing. If you can't think of a spelling, just use a squiggle or else write, 'I can't think of it.' Just put down something. The easiest thing is just to put down whatever is in your mind. If you get stuck it's fine to write 'I can't think of anything to say, I can't think of anything to say' as many times as you want; or repeat the last word you wrote over and over again; or anything else. The only requirement is that you never stop.
- Remember - Don’t censor yourself in any way. Just keep writing until the 10 minutes are up.
The Burning Ritual:
- Sit in front of your pot or burning space, hold the free writing paper in your hands and just reflect on what this represents to you and why you need to let this go. Finish with the words I am forgiven. I am done.
- Then burn that stuff to ashes! Feel the flames eating up and rendering that old energy into nothingness. Let it all go. That’s why we need to do this ritual outside, where the old energy can escape and be diffused on the wind.
- Acknowledge any emotions that come up for you, but allow the ritual to give you a sense of finality. Dispose of your saucepan once it has cooled. Reflection on the process and accept that you have closed the door on that part of your life forever.
In burning the past, you leave
yourself free to claim a brighter future. Celebrate the end of the Releasing
Ritual with a beverage or some food – head out for a meal or do something
special. This is the start of a new life for you.
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